My name is not kakaboo

2009-10-11T10:11:00.001+08:00

I feel as though I've become a much more happy person during these few weeks since I started doing a new buisness. My life has been much more fulfilling and happy, and now I seldom play any games anymore. Now instead, I feel that playing games seem to actually be a total waste of time and quite meaningless...

2009-08-03T19:25:00.000+08:00

The 2 letter word starting with 'N' is such a liability, and destroys many young boys' dreams in those 2 years. It becomes an excuse for them to use to escape from reality and the outside world, it destroys numerous relationships because lovebirds dont get to see each other for the whole week, it ruins the image of our defence force for some, and last but not least it wastes countless of the 2 years of everybody.

i guess it cant be helped, since singapore is indeed a small country after all. who would really volunteer to be in that workforce? the day where it can be shelved off would be the days when there are many volunteers really willing to lay down their life for singapore..which is difficult by now, due to so many incidents that have happened to a lot of people.

2009-07-03T22:21:00.001+08:00

1st July is finally over! I kind of regret taking the easy way on that day, but I guess there's no point dwelling over it anymore. I can only say I did it for the good of the team and that I gave the chance up to somebody who had never participated in it before.. come to think of it I don't remember there were any reserves last year?

July is a very special month to me..but yet it seems so normal too. I guess I can't blame anyone but myself for letting it become normal..but the appearance of july means there's only 1 month left to NDP..and less than 6months to ORD!

Time seems to have ever pass so quickly..a month has just passed in the blink of an eye, and I havent stepped foot inside ATC for a month already. Next Tuesday will be the first time I go back..and Im kinda worried about the H1N1 though. Also, I may have forgot what I'm supposed to know..the last time I touched a G-11 was probably more than 3months ago, if I'm not wrong. and they'll sure ask us to demo..grah

2009-06-16T16:20:00.009+08:00

Very very tired and shag out now.. feel that legs are going to break soon..nobody will know or understand how tough it actually is unless you have been through it yourself. Last year was bad, but this year it's even worser.

Few people know about how tired actually most of us is..all they know is that..you not in company..you slack.. not doing any work at all..want you to come back by 8am early in the morning the next day..if got day off from the higher ups..some not happy again..think why can like that..already whole day not there..go 1 day.. still off another day.. on a normal working day..because at the end of everything.. there will be some more offs again..but again.. it may be eaten up.. due to the mindset I mentioned above..no1 knows.. how early we have to go back the night before.. how early we have to wake up.. and how late we actually end..no..all they know is .. you not in company line already.. siam a lot of things..give u enough rest in between already.. so eat up all your off at the end of the day

at the end of the day..we're all just here for 2 years.. most people say..its an honour to participate..no need off..the honour and glory more than enough.. but like i said.. we all.. here for 2 years..who actually gives a damn about the honour and glory.. not like i have any girlfriend now that's going to be proud of me by boasting to her friends..all we want.. is to slack during these 2 years.. and have it pass by quickly

so god..please understand..having to go back is so troublesome..shuttling to and fro between 3 places..so much time wasted.. so much traveling fees wasted..thats why i say.. a lot of ppl.. no brains..not flexible..cannot give off on their own accord..scared of this.. scared of that.. die die u must go back..but lucky.. have the backing of someone..easier to discuss things.. as long as always full attendance..hope this year wont be like last year.. everything eaten up.. say combined with b***.. its a joke.. because in the end we went back for range on weekends both sat n sun.. so in actual fact we only got 1 day out of it..but some may say its because we didnt fight for it ourselves.. left it to the monkey.. fine..suck thumb.. already pass so long ago..but this year..definitely cannot.. must..fight for it urself

2009-06-14T10:55:00.001+08:00

woohoo.. no more camo.. but the new IBV is really really really really hot

2009-06-09T17:31:00.002+08:00

I feel that my two legs are going to break soon... but I must endure.. and persevere..but for whom..? for what..? I really don't know.

Last year, I had someone in mind, which was one of the main reason I managed to pull through.. but this year, it's different. This year, it's tougher, hotter, longer, more, and I have nobody to anchor on..maybe I should go and find one now!

Bah, all the crap is bullshit. I do this for nothing but myself!!!!!

2009-06-01T19:58:00.003+08:00

Bah... now I have to attend SAFDP too other than NDP. Some people may think that I'm very lucky to be able to have go for such parades for 3 times in 2 years, some people may think that I'm really unlucky. Some people want to go for it but can't, some don't want to go yet are being volunteered for it. Ironic, isn't it?

Personally, I don't feel anything for it. I guess I'm neutral, whether I go or not go. I bet many people wouldn't even believe I went for them after I tell them in the future when it's over..

What I hate most about attending these parades are not the parades itself, but the travelling. Both camps which I have to report to are so freaking far from my house, and that's still not the issue. The problem here is, the train journey takes at least 30minutes to 1 hour+, and with so many people nowadays taking the train, there's absolutely no place to sit! Which means I would have to be standing for 1 hour to and fro, which adds up to 2 hours, and that's the most shag part of the thing to me. Even if there are seats when I get on, I know that the train would still be eventually filled up and people would have to stand, and thus I can't snatch the seats or sit because 1) I'm still young 2) I would be wearing green ...

2009-05-31T00:56:00.001+08:00

I really had no idea how long 2km really was until today. Really

2009-05-24T23:26:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bcxwhzyh7c&feature=rec-HM-r2

2009-05-19T16:21:00.002+08:00

I am lost. Very lost. The worst thing that one can probably possible feel is being lost in life. Even when I have free time on my hands, I sometimes just.. stone there and wait for the time to pass.

No maps in life, no forks in life. Everything is but a barren desert around me now. I keep telling myself that I am not in a barren desert by using the excuse that as long as I keep wandering about afater 6months everything will change. But will it really change..?

2009-04-29T21:38:00.002+08:00

People from STOMP is getting really lame IMHO. There is a column in the 'wo pao' everyday featuring selected articles and photographs from STOMP, and I found 2 out of 3 of them today to be ridiculous. One of them was about a pot(or dono wat like a well) of plant located in between some blocks at compassvale or something, and that it collects water and may be a potential breeding mosquito.

Then the reader goes complaining about it has been there for a long time and hope that the town council would do something about it before it really becomes a hazardous breeding ground. That's just wow, seriously. If it was not noticed for such a long time it's probably because they don't even know the existence of that thing! People aren't supernatural and have the free time to always walk around underneath HDB blocks looking for such things. You as a reader and a resident should use your free time and highlight it to the town council instead of uploading lame pictures onto STOMP hoping that the town council would do something..obviously if you approach the town council directly you would get a much faster result right?

The 2nd one would be someone complaining about 'thieves' stealing $1 dollar coins from unattended trolleys at supermarkets using an easily duplicated key. And that the reader hopes that some 'anti-theft piracy alarm system' can be installed onto the trolley. this is more wtf than the last one, as just because to protect your 1 dollar coin we have to start a project that probably costs at least thousands of dollar to invent and install such a system onto EVERY trolley in SINGAPORE? Instead of being lazy and complaining that your $1 dollar coins get stolen because you left your trolleys unattended, why don't you JUST STOP BEING LAZY LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN FREAKING TROLLEY!

2009-04-27T19:14:00.000+08:00

I did something really unexpected today.. not that it was anything big.. but nevertheless I was shocked that I actually did that. I'm sure you would be shocked if you knew what I did.. but I will keep it a secret for now.

The god damn weather is really damn irritating nowadays.. it's damn humid.. very very stuffy and you can even sweat just by sitting down there.

2009-04-26T20:11:00.003+08:00

I have been chosen to go for NDP 09..not because I'm 'zai' in my drills or what, but partly because there's literally nobody else that's able to go. But I guess that it isn't such a bad thing after all, as it's probably one kind of an experience that I will never be able to get after I ORD.

If I were to be given the choice to whether I want to go for the parade or not, I would probably still volunteer..words can't describe the feeling you get just by standing on the parade ground, marching, the sweating, the red faces and hands you get from the sun, and seeing everybody else putting in as much , or even more effort than you in order to make it a successful one. I'm saying this for first hand because I went for SAF day parade last year already, so I know the feeling. yeah, I'm dam suay? or maybe lucky to some of you, for those that wanted to go but didn't get the chance to.

If I had a girlfriend now I think she would be very proud of me and be able to tell her friends that her boyfriend is on TV during National Day and part of the marching contigent. kind of wasted.. isn't it? but you as my friend can do the same thing!

2009-04-22T00:38:00.002+08:00

As most of you woul dknow,some people complained about the recent change in some of the MRTs, that some of the seats were removed. They even uploaded it onto STOMP and many made comments on it, one of it being 'we pay money to sit, not stand on the train'. I find it ridiculous and absurd that this person was probably a teenager or a young adult. Reason being, SMRT can choose not to even provide you with the train service, all they are doing is to make more space for people to board so that people like you don't have to wait outside like an idiot for the next train to come, only to find that it's full again.

personally , I think all the seats should be removed. You can see so many young people not willing to give up their seats to people who really need it more than them , people with white hair growing all over their head and can't even stand properly, right in front of them, yet they can choose to ignore them. If that's the case, then why bother having any seats at all? Since those who need it doesn't benefit from it, and people who don't need it at all hogs the place. so, by removing the seats, everybody would have to stand, wouldn't that be good?

2009-04-10T19:38:00.002+08:00

I think Ns does serve more purpose than just defending your own country. It makes a lot of people go back onto the right path as they slowly understand the pain of being seperated from their loved ones and losing their freedom. This is especially true for SOL personnel, and for people who are charged, they get a taste of how prison life might actually be like, but in a shorter period of time.

maybe that's the reason why singapore has such a low crime rate...

2009-04-05T19:25:00.003+08:00

Finally I am back to this site once again after all that excuses about not having enough time to write an entry because of ns. Although that's partly true, it still boils down to one's self whether he wants to fork out the time or not. The main reason why I'm here now actually is because I have less than 1 or 2 hours before I have to leave my house.. for another week. Which makes me unable to play any game or watch any show properly, and ta-da, I decided to come here to waste the 1hour away by entertaining people that stumbles upon this blog.

I have to admit, I'm getting a little bored at home. Almost all the time I spend at home is in front of the computer. I do know that playing all these games is really not of any benefit to my future at all, like what a lot of people think, but you could say that it's a habit.. or even worse, an addiction. But if you really think about it, what is actually beneficial to your life? Everything comes, and everything goes, including your own life. If you like to waste your time this way, then so be it. No one can really help you except yourself.

2 free days per week makes it so difficult for one to arrange meetups and gatherings with your long lost friends..throw in a few guard duties and the thought of going out would completely demoralize you..though maybe not everybody thinks this way.. or maybe I'm just plain lazy. The 2 days per week always seem to pass so much faster than the 4-5 days at work...

work..I think that a lot of us youngsters take a lot of things for granted nowdays. Of course, I won't deny that I'm probably one of them, but sometimes the way they think is really just ridiculous. They don't know how tolerant many of them actually are already..yet some of them still continue to try and push their luck. I only hope that one day they will realize how good they have been treated..

let's face it, no one likes being there..not when you see other people going home everyday 3 or 4 hours earlier than us. no one likes the insane double work that are being tasked to us.. no one likes the measly amount of money you get for doing almost triple of what your counterparts in the same area are doing..but it's almost ending and everybody is in this together..make it such that when you leave this dreaded place, you can look back and take pride in yourself, even though almost everyone else not in the service knows what we actually do.

2009-03-28T16:04:00.001+08:00

I have no idea why singaporean dramas are mostly about families having problems or another, love triangles, a vixen breaking up another guy's family, etc, etc. If everyone comes to see all these dramas, who would even dare to marry in the future?

2009-03-14T17:59:00.002+08:00

I haven't been updating this much because I can't really think of anything to write, but I'm just here today to write something just to let everybody know that I am still alive out there in the world.

As I was taking a break, I browsed through my cupboard aimlessly and looking through all the stuff that I've kept for the past few years, mainly the yearbooks and such. Somehow I cannot believe that 20 years have actually passed and I'm already going to be 20 years old, and that I will have to depend on myself soon enough. It makes me wonder about what I actually want to do in the near future...but I always push the blame to Ns. that I am not free to do whatever I want because of time constraint. I know, you know, we all know that's just an excuse.. but I really do not want to think of anything else but the 3 letter word..I shall ponder over it during the 7months I have in the near future, I guess.. all I want now is to.. O__!!!

2009-03-01T23:22:00.002+08:00

The world is small. freaking small. or should I say that Singapore is the one that is small. It's like everybody somehow knows each other in the end, my sec sch and pri school friend end up in the same class in jc, my ns friend's friend are my classmates in jc,sec school or pri school, or through some other ways of cca they know each other.. etc etc.

This week hasn't been that easy to pass, and the rest of the month won't be that good either. but i have been thinking about what he has said and being so different from what I heard, I really do not know who to choose to believe. or maybe, i shouldn't believe anything at all..

2009-02-14T15:00:00.004+08:00

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I'm at a loss for words. I don't know whether to laugh, to cry, to be angry, to be sad, .......................................................................

2009-02-01T18:29:00.002+08:00

This year's Chinese New Year seemed to have passed ridiculously fast for some reason. Maybe it's because people came later than usual and went home earlier than usual including myself. I was so happy that there was the block leave when the ridiculously fast Chinese New Year ended, knowing that I won't have to go back for anything for the whole week. But as always, all good things come to an end, and it's finally time for me to return. Somehow there is always this sianzness after a long break and I am always happy and sad that there's such a long break most of the time. Happy, you all probably know the reason, and sad because it just feels so sian because you have somehow gotten accustomed to the long holiday of not being back.

But then again, if these holidays never end, then the 3 letter word starting with O will never come.. so might as well just get it over and done with.

2009-01-20T20:55:00.002+08:00

Here I am, sitting alone waiting for the rest to come back before I can go back together with them. I don't know whether to count my self as lucky or unfortunate to have to stay back alone behind while the rest go for what they are supposed to go. Initially, the plan was for me to just receive one big thingy, but I guess things don't always go that way, due to a lot of people from other places not calling first before coming down to visit. worst of all, they all , for some, reason, always like to come at the SAME time.

I may have learnt a lot during the past year; but a lot of what I learn won't really help me in the future at all, in my high opinion. but i try to think on the positive side, as being here has helped me to see a lot of different people from all walks of life, and how different life is when there's no one to take care of you.

2009-01-11T10:18:00.002+08:00

I sometimes wonder why is it that people like to play or study late into the night and wake up very late the next morning, instead of going to sleep earlier that night and waking up much earlier the next morning? I personally would have prefered to sleep earlier everyday and wake up earlier the next morning. but with everyone around me doing the former, I have slowly moved into the ranks of sleeping late and waking up late.

2009-01-05T18:36:00.002+08:00

1st day of work was a bomb. well, actually this could be counted as the 2nd day, since we came back earlier on sunday to work...I guess coming back to work may not be that bad after all as I naturally thought and reflected on a lot of things, rather than like the past 2 weeks where I spent almost all my time in front of this thing which I am at now.

I realized a lot of things all of a sudden today but somehow I feel that a lot of these stuff should not be penned down in public. Yet, I think they are points really worth remembering, but still I'm too lazy to write a private diary or open a private blog. I guess it doesn't really matter anyway.. after all.

Today seemed to pass every so slowly, as though it was even longer than the 2 weeks of my block leave. Probably partly because there's really nothing I looked forward to, unlike during jc and secondary school times.. where I looked forward to catching up with my friends.

I'm at a loss for words now all of a sudden as I realized there is a lot more we must still do this month, or even the next month.... and by the time we finish doing all these stuff, another new cycle of stuff would start again...never-ending slogging. but that may also be a good thing, as time would always seem to pass faster if you're doing something rather than nothing.

cheerios!

2009-01-01T15:33:00.004+08:00

As 2008 comes to a close and we enter 2009, I can't help but feel that I'm missing out a lot in life. Yet I can't be bothered,or rather, lazy, to make an effort to change the things around me. Or maybe it's that I can't somehow, there's this invisible thing holding me by my neck.

Yesterday went to watch the fireworks at Marina Bay. The fireworks were pretty spectucular but too bad it ended all so soon..it isn't always that you get to watch fireworks so up closely. There was a hell lot of people, and after the fireworks ended everybody were rushing to the mrt station and bus stops to get home. This is where I was really getting pissed off. The police had cordoned off a lot of areas and made us all walk one big round to fullerton hotel before we could finally get out of there. I wasn't pissed off at them cordoning the areas, nor was I pissed off at the human traffic moving so ohslowly. It was the people that keep pushing you from behind and trying to get to the front that really made me pissed off. well look here, if you people want to get home or get out of that human jam as fast as possible, what makes you think that other people don't feel the same way? If they feel the same way and they can have a little bit of patience and courtesy to move along with the crowd instead of pushing around, why can't everybody do the same? Not that I want to ostracize anybody, but as I look back to see the faces of those people pushing me, most of them were foreign workers..

2008-12-13T12:29:00.002+08:00

The things I do often seem to be insignificant and unseen by others. As such, sometimes I really feel irritated that other people who doesn't even bother to do all this gets more credit than me. But I always tell myself that I do all these things not because I am looking for credit, well maybe part of my subconscious does, but I do all this because I want to do it. and I guess beliving in karma helps, because I can deceive myself that even if I don't receive any credit there I will get back what I deserve in the future, which would be so much better, wouldn't it?

2008-12-05T22:13:00.006+08:00

Funny

2008-11-29T11:41:00.002+08:00

I think that I probably have caught the shopping virus. Everytime I want go out to buy something, I would eventually lose focus on what I actually want to buy. Instead, I would walk around everywhere trying to remember what I actually wanted to buy, and buy a lot of unneccessary stuff which I wasn't even planning to get in the first place. That may not neccessarily be a bad thing but a good thing after all.

One more thing is, when I'm totally free and have absolutely nothing to do, nobody else is free. Yet when I have planned to go out like more than 1 week or 2 weeks beforehand, during the last minute a lot of events piles up, giving me such a big headache and don't know which one to go.

2008-11-23T14:55:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night was one of the best times I had in such a long time. Although we didn't really talk much and didn't really spend a lot of time together, I could feel that everyone probably enjoyed each other's presence and that the efforts everybody put in to make this a succesful one was recognized. I had really looked forward to it and that was why I still tried to rush there even though I know I was going to be late after coming back from camp around 4+.. otherwise normally I would be very lazy and stay at home and miss it.. but I was glad I didn't.

I hope to enjoy such occassions again but I know it will be very difficult when most of us only have our saturdays to spare. Throw in a few guard duties and remedial training and that week would be gone...gone...

How I wish that tomorrow would be the last day of the next year.. but that is of course impossible.

2008-11-21T21:30:00.002+08:00

rarrr I seriously hate all of these things yet I still have to force myself to like it. Otherwise, I am probably only going to suffer even more. I have already succumbed myself to fate...so much for your fate and destiny lies in your own hands. But still I am not going to give up, for although certain things cannot be changed, there are a whole of things that I can change which will benefit me for the better.

2008-11-18T19:04:00.003+08:00

The time to book in has once come again after more than 3 weeks. These 3 weeks have seemed to passed so fast when I look back, yet it seemed like eternity while I was still in Aus. 3 weeks. Just gone.. like that. Or should I say, 11 months, have just gone, like that, and I only have just 13 more months to go!!

Looking back, I kind of regret not going to try for the last napfa retest for a silver while in JC..so that I would be able to serve 2months lesser. I guess it doesn't really matter now since most of my closer friends are from the April batch and I will still be earlier than them, since they will be do so in Feb. Yay! Provided that I even keep in contact with them anymore at that point of time.

Come to think of it, the A does really makes people feel trapped in time. It just seems as though I was only turning 18 yesterday..but in fact I'm already going to hit 20 soon. Ok, may not so soon, but soon. And it just dawned on me that I'm not a young boy or a teenager anymore... but I am still clueless about what I want to get in life.

I guess I will have to resign myself to fate for now and concentrate on doing what is expected of me at the moment. That includes more guard duties(both on weekdays and weekends) as all the seniors ord...

2008-11-18T14:53:00.001+08:00

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=41849

wow what is the world coming to. I feel so sorry for her and come on people with some brains would of course know she would have to say it was only a joke..if not.. well..

although my friends seldom celebrate my birthday for me, i would rather not have any celebrations at all than this.

2008-11-17T10:38:00.003+08:00

I probably having nothing better to do, and these videos confirm this even more:

3 JT 2004 Aloha Loyang chalet lol

some dota

2008-11-16T18:27:00.004+08:00

Pokemon sucks. Beat the Elite Four in Ruby with a level 65 Blaziken alone, together with some lvl 10-ish to help me revive if needed. Now to find something else to do...

2008-11-14T22:04:00.002+08:00

After this trip, I realized how much I actually miss Singapore, the culture, the people and the buildings here. Seeing those high risen buildings again while on the way home gave me this nostalgic feeling which I seldom had before.

I don't really have anything much to say about Australia since the place we went to was just a small town with a few shopping malls around. But one thing that puzzled and confused me was that why people would be willing to throw 10 or 20 dollar just to gamble when they find it wasteful to buy a key chain or pen that costs about the same price? That's what I felt at that time..I didn't want to spend 10 dollars on a keychain which I liked yet I fed the jackpot machines more than 10dollars.

2008-10-26T22:28:00.007+08:00

This is, undoubtedly, what a lot of people will classify as an 'emo' post. But like what I have said before, the word 'emo' does not appear in my dictionary. I just felt like typing this out for myself, to tell myself that there are so many people throughout these years that has made a difference in my life. If emo shit posts offend you, then I kindly invite you to hit Alt + F4 or hit the small little 'X' button which you can find at the top right hand corner of any browser. Unless of course, that you are accessing this site from outerspace.

I miss eating durians.

I miss eating KFC for some odd reason although I ate it probably not less than 3 months ago.

I miss JC life, secondary school life more and primary school life even more.

I miss all the outings I attended even though it wasn't 100% attendance all the time.

I miss all the LAN and laksa sessions at Katong.

I miss all the teasing on Mr He with the 'take 12 eat mac' quotes.

I miss the catcus's gay laughter.

I miss the blind catching at the playground after school.

I miss my insanity for deciding to walk home from CCHMS sometimes.

I miss all my teachers although I probably have forgotten most of their names, or even how they look like. -.-

I miss being teased by everybody for nothing.

I miss the lame block catching on house visits during Chinese new year and such.

I miss playing yugioh cards.

I miss playing gunbound under so much stress, that a single shot cannot be missed ,with my guild.

I miss the bowling sessions at katong superbowl after school.

I miss the KBOX sessions and peanut throwing at everybody.

I miss playing Rival Schools 3.

I miss watching movies with my relatives.

I miss class barbeques and class chalets.

I miss BMT and the route marches. Oh god I must be crazy.

I miss everybody in my life, but Person P and E the most...

I miss...

(cut short)

I miss ...

Last but not least I miss certain people calling me kakaboo. But now, almost everybody calls me by kakaboo. I don't even know how it all started or why, but what puzzles me is why would anyone prefer to call me by a 3 syllable word than a 2 syllable word. Wouldn't a 2 syllable word be easier? Unless you're that certain someone..I would just feel really irritated if you called me by kakaboo.

Therefore I hereby encourage everybody to stop calling me kakaboo anymore and call me by my real name. kakaboo is just a screen name, a fantasy, and a being without a soul, without a life. So spare me and kakaboo this misery and call us by our name. Yes, our name, kakaboo is just a part of me. I don't want to be turning to him for help anymore, I don't want to be escaping from reality. kakaboo has seen enough of this cruel world with his own eyes, and he tells me it's time for me to look at this world through the windows of my own soul. It's time for him to rest.

And did I even mention, that my name is Kelvin. In case I forget, or anyone else does.

2008-10-26T18:17:00.002+08:00

I was pretty amused to find out that inflation has also hit a part of Singapore which probably nobody else notices that much, and that is you now have to pay 20 cents instead of 10cents to enter washrooms in certain places.

2008-10-24T21:38:00.002+08:00

These few weeks seemed to have passed so fast that I do not know whether it's a good or bad thing at all. Somehow it just seems that a lot of things have happened over these weeks, yet it seems like nothing has happened much when I try to think back.

Why do I say that it's both good and bad then that the weeks have passed so quickly? Well the obvious thing of course is around 1 month has just passed in the blink of an eye which means there's just around 13-14more months to go. The downside is I'll be officially leaving Singapore next week for work and only coming back on the 14-15th of November.

My colleagues over there have already said that life there isn't going to be easy, but tough compared to the times we had here. Of course it's to be expected since we aren't going there on a holiday, but with the current proficency I am at plus the lack of practice after so long, I wonder whether I will still be able to cope with it. There's so many steps to memorize and so many small little mistakes that you can make which could result in disastrous consequences. I guess there's no point worrying about it so much now, because I won't be able to change the fact that I have to go there to do what I am supposed to do.

That aside, since nowadays the trains are so crowded I am being forced to 'accidentally' eavesdrop on other people's conversations most of the time. (Well, I can't cover my ears on the train like an idiot after all, can I?) So, while listening to all the different conversations going on each time, a few thoughts appeared in my head:

--If you took a taxi and realized that the uncle forgot to turn on the fare meter, would you remind him to turn it on or pretend to forget about it?

Most people would probably chose the latter, but for me I can't really decide. One side of me says that I can save money by doing so, but another side says taxi drivers don't earn much nowadays and they're just trying to earn a living. It's not like I'm saving for something big anyway.

2008-10-22T18:57:00.001+08:00

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rarrrrrrrrr
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adl;askasl;kf0ei2340324329032902asddaakofaokfafa'faf

2008-10-12T13:40:00.003+08:00

I'm proud of myself to be have been able to done that. But I really do not know what to do next. Maybe there are a lot of people that share the same pain as me, and I hope that what they have said is true; that one day I will just feel so pissed off and angry at myself that I decide to do something which I have never been expected to do and transform into a completely new person.

Bottoms up and cheers to that day when it finally comes, in advance. Just in case it doesn't come at all.

2008-10-08T08:06:00.003+08:00

I was once a regular poster at a game forum. At that point in time, I could be said to be an addict of that particular game and forum, refreshing the forum pages every 5-10minutes for new posts. Slowly but surely though, I eventually tried for a higher post and got it after an odd month's worth of waiting. That time was probably one of the best times in my life, as the people there and now seemed to come from a completely different era. I enjoyed exchanging pointers and talking to them and such, but eventually they all had to leave due to exams or other real life commitments. But I also think that one of the other reason I don't feel that enthusiastic as before is that this game has been far way in the world too long, that a lot of tricks and secrets not realized before have been compiled into numerous faqs by different people, therefore there's like almost nothing else to be learnt.

Looking at my posts back then, I realized that I've changed a lot over these 2 years, but for the worst, or for the better? I really don't know, but over these 2 years I've also seen a lot of people change over there, and the changes were terrible. Maybe it's because they know that they're safe behind the monitor since nobody can punch them from withnin their monitors.

I read somewhere that most people are actually afraid of change because one will not know what he will really become after changing. Some people are also unwilling to accept change because a lot of times it's much easier and less painful to just remain the way you are. I probably belong to the latter, although I really wish to change something in my life. But I still cannot bring myself to do it for the emotional pain that I have conjured up is far too much for myself, although I know these pain are just imaginary and can be conquered. Still...

2008-10-05T20:28:00.002+08:00

How time flies. It's already 5 days into October and more than half of my colleagues are gonna leave tomorrow and on Tuesday to look for kangaroos. Once we come back in November, most of my batch mates will only have 1 year left to Ord while a few of us having a month more.

10months and I still haven't really decided what I want to do in the future. I probably need to get out more often and stay away from the computer. I know it's weird but whenever I stone in front of the computer I seem to be able to concentrate very well on it and my mind is completely rid of everything else.

That's why when I'm travelling to and fro outside or when just taking a stroll, a lot of things just come to my mind randomly that I don't know which thoughts to start focusing on. In the end, all the thoughts that ran through my mind eventually disappears.

2008-10-04T14:18:00.003+08:00

As I was walking home after collecting my long lost phone, I had to pass by the community centre. To my surprise, the whole patch of grass behind the community centre had been cleared and a new basketball court was set up in its place. Somehow I felt happy and disappointed at the same time, as I had always wanted to learn how to play basketball properly, but all along I could only play it in school or have to travel to mountbatten road. In school I didn't get much chances to do so either, since there were only a few courts shared by the whole 4 levels of different ages, and being a noob in the first place wasn't very helpful too. I guess I probably wouldn't being going there very often anyway in the future, since it's bound to be hogged by students from the nearby schools.

Apart from that, I want to talk about something else. Everybody takes almost anything that happens in their lives for granted. This includes friends and loved ones, and the valuable lessons learnt while growing up. If you think people take you for granted, then have you ever wondered whether you took people for granted too? It probably takes great effort for a group of more than 5 person to maintain their relationship over the years, for it's difficult to set a timing where everybody can agree on. Then again, the last part is what I am very against. Personally I think that if everybody put in their efforts, there shouldn't be any problem agreeing on a timing. Unless you have regimental duties or are overseas, one should always make their own sacrifices to accomodate the rest of the group.

This is probably true for me since almost everybody in my life have been merely acquaintances, especially after entering NS. I can't even remember more than half of my primary school friends, and the secondary school friends I still keep in touch with is because they went to the same JC as me. If I had entered a different JC from them, I would probably seldom keep in touch with them too now. Maybe it's my own fault and I have nobody else to blame except myself for not making any efforts to plan any outings or whatsoever.

Emo?

2008-10-01T19:23:00.004+08:00

Since my time in junior college everybody seems to be using the word 'emo' to describe almost every other single person who doesn't react normally. I mean, what does the word 'emo' actually refer to? 'emo' is probably a short form for emotional, or it refers to a certain classification of music in the past. But to date, almost everybody is using the word emo when they don't really even know what it really means.

Emo? Emo? EMO??! The next time somebody uses the word 'emo' in front of you, ask them what is their definition of emo. I'm sure they'll probably say, *points finger at you*'like what you doing now lor, is emo. So, my advice to everybody out there is to just throw the word emo out of your english vocabularly, seriously.

2008-09-28T20:36:00.003+08:00

Somehow it's Sunday night again.. all of a sudden. To think that this weekend seemed to pass even faster than last week's when I had guard duty together on that Sunday. I guess it's probably due to the fact that I keep dwelling on it that it seems to pass so fast.

I'm getting lazier and lazier as the days goes by, cooping myself up at home and not reallly responsive to any of the invites I get to get out of the house. Sometimes I lament about why people seem to be always going out all the time with different friends, but when the time comes for me to get my lazy ass out, I can't really be bothered to do so. Not that I'm not looking forward to them, but just.. but just.. I don't know. I'll have to try and make better efforts in the future then, or it's going to strain my relationships with others.

I'm also thinking of getting a camera and DS, reason being the overseas exercise is coming soon and I don't really want to be asking everybody else to send me photos when we get back to Singapore. Then again, being the lazy me, I wonder when I'll even get out to get some Vitamin D. I can't even be bothered to take a 5minutes walk to the nearby market to buy my lunch, instead I rather rummage through the kitchen for biscuits and snacks for lunch. That's prolly one of the reason why I'm so thin, I guess.

It feels so good not complaining about work and NS for once, and it has made me realized that NS has cut me off from the outside world by a lot. I had decided to take bus number 30 home on Friday from HarbourFront as I didn't want to be squashed to pieces on the MRT back. Passing by, I didn't even know that the F1 race was already on, and I kept thinking to myself wtf was all that stupid noises on the way back, and why the hell there was a traffic jam for no particular reason. Then in place of the old Broadrick secondary was a new school named starlight something, and broadrick secondary had moved to Old Airport Road. I just found it a little amusing why the school at Old airport road can't be called starlight something and the old Broadrick be left in its original place?

Next week I'll really have to force myself to go out, as I have to get certain supplies for the upcoming exercise. I don't even have enough jeans or a proper jacket...

Bullseye

2008-09-27T00:09:00.003+08:00

It probably isn't the first time this has happened before, yet probably no matter what they say will get into any of their heads after all. I'm already sick and tired of complaining to myself, and I seriously hate it when I'm the one being shot for no reason just because I'm busy outside when everyone else is hiding somewhere. Probably I should stop caring about any of this anymore and just do what I am supposed to do..but then I have to do what I'm not supposed to do either.. I guess it's just hard for anybody up there to understand really what's happening beneath them, just like how it's hard for us to imagine there are a lot of problems up there too.

I guess I should just treat this as a positive learning experience in life..but I'm kind of worried that it's going to affect the date when I turn into Mr. again.

2008-09-20T22:34:00.005+08:00

All of a sudden I just felt having music on one's blog was really irritating, especially those that're hidden and can't be stopped with the 'Stop' function on internet explorer or firefox. Imagine reading a blog with music playing in the background by someone you really hate rambling on and on about in a language you totally do not understand at all..the first thing I would probably do would be to just close the whole thing straight away and make it a point never to go back again.

So therefore, future visitors may have peace and tranquil while coming here to pass your time. Not that I expect a lot of you though.

In this entry alone I realized I have made several spelling mistakes, no not typing mistakes. Things like typing 'help' instead of 'have', 'alot' instead of 'alone'..I guess I must be tired. I ought to get some rest straight away, since I have to go back early in the morning tomorrow. That just sucks, doesn't it?

All I can say is..

SUCK THUMB!

2008-09-20T00:19:00.002+08:00

I'm probably still oblivious to what's actually happening around me. I have no idea why people are complaining about each other on the net and that it seems people have been getting angry and frustrated over nothing, or something that I don't know about. Either way, it's probably something I wouldn't want to know..Not that I'm really that curious in the first place.

Somehow it seems nothing I say will get into their heads. Maybe I am not such a convincing person after all, for I tend to reply with nonsense and rubbish most of the time to a lot of questions. If nothing gets through, one day the same old people who have been doing the same thing over and over again will eventually flare up and just not care about it anymore. Is just fifteen minutes of your time really so important to one when he can go home at 6 pm?

It's been a crazy week so far with everything being packed withnin just a few short hours for us to finish everything. Now that everything's over, I'm a little worried that I may have missed out certain stuff, and I certainly hope that the problem that has just arisen isn't that serious after all.

2008-09-13T17:43:00.002+08:00

People always think that being able to get a MC is a blessing. Well, even I do think so sometimes when I'm perfectly fine, but I always think the other way when I finally fall sick and get that dreaded MC, especially when it's because of a fever.

The fever came back and continued to haunt me throughout Thursday, and I was lucky enough to at least get a one day MC from the doctor although my temperature had already dropped to 37.2 degrees by the time I went to him.(a lot of doctors won't give you anything unless it's above 37.5degrees) Yet, when I took the temperature myself in the morning, it was 38.2degrees. Then when I got back to rest and took my temperature later in the day, it went back up to 38 degrees again. That's the part I really hate most everytime.

Although the fever has already subsided long ago, the side effects still continue to haunt me and my head is throbbing now. Maybe it's due to prolonged usage of the computer..I guess I should switch this off now and go and rest.

2008-09-08T19:34:00.002+08:00

It does feel indeed different staying at home for more than 2 days which I haven't got a chance to do so since long ago, even if it meant lying in bed 75% of the time. It certainly felt good for once to be able to take everything off my mind and go to sleep so easily and for a long time. Still, good things don't last forever and I will still have to go back to the place where I don't know whether I hate or love so much tonight, with my haven't-fully-recovered-fever tagging me along. This is probably the part I hate most about having a fever, the side effects still continue to haunt me for the next 2-3 days, if not a week, even though the fever has long ago subsided on the first day with the help of medication. Maybe my body's just too weak. The fever probably came from being homesick, as come to think of it, I haven't been at home for more than 2 days straight since AHM 2 weeks ago. Again, if this is the case how am I even going to survive in Aus for 3 weeks?!!

2008-09-06T19:33:00.002+08:00

It's been 2 weeks since I last came home all because of range which I missed because I was at the SAF day parade at that time?! This is probably the only 2nd time in my life when I was 'confined', the first being the field camp on a Saturday in BMT(I had no 1st 2 weeks confinement because there was christmas and hari raya haji that time hehe). My range didn't go too well as I screwed up the night shoot..I just thought it would make me feel better if I had at least managed to get the monetary reward.But I guess it isn't as simple I make it sound to be.

Life has been mundane these two weeks and I'm quite amazed I didn't break down despite missing home so much. I wonder how I'm even going to survive 6(?) weeks(rumours has it may be 3 weeks now for me) overseas.

I at first was planning to buy a DS with the others but upon reaching the shop all of a sudden I didn't felt like it anymore. I just felt like I could use that sum of money to do much more meaningful things(but don't ask me what), and although it seemed like a 3 hours wasted trip, I was glad to find out that I'm still straight after all.

Another thing is that I'm really sick and tired of all these things anymore and I wonder why no one yet has been enlightened. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions too fast, maybe I'm too paranoid, or maybe I'm just scared. Either way, I just wish that I could just dig a hole and hide in it everyday till 141209. The enthusiasm I had when given an appointment has long ago burned out, and I can't be bothered with anything else anymore. Seriously.

But I guess, this is just another test of my perserverance and abilities, and I should not take it lightly but instead embrace it with a positive mindset, as I'm probably going to meet people with the same characteristics when I continue my studies or work.

2008-08-25T08:21:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the AHM(Army Half Marathon) which was conducted at near The Esplanade. Me, being a first year soldier had to take part in the 10km run. It was quite a positive experience although it wasn't really what I had expected it to be. It was kind of funny when there were still so many people before the starting line after the guy shouted start, and everyone only started running after the 'real' starting line. My knee still hurts after running such a long distance, and I wonder how I'm even going to make it for next year's 21km.

Sad to say, while a lot of other people are on off today for taking part in the AHM yesterday and burning their weekends, me and my counterparts have to go back to camp early in the morning today to complete our preparations for the upcoming exercise. Somehow, I would have really greatly appreciated it if I could sleep until 10-11am today, which is something I seldom do, but I guess that's not going to happen.

Over these few weeks, I somehow don't treasure my weekends that much anymore. I really looked forward to going to camp these few weeks, as the faster I get back and complete all those shit, the easier I can relax and also get some proper rest. I just want this to be over as soon as possible. Really.

2008-08-22T21:03:00.002+08:00

Taking the train nowdays is so sucky, especially during peak hours, it's almost full to the maxed until I can almost be squashed flat like a pancake. One year ago even when taking the train during peak hours when going home from school it wasn't even that packed..I guess it's probably less and less people are taking buses and driving cars and the number of foreign workers that are coming to Singapore to work.

This week has been a pretty tiring week, having to stand,squat,kneel for almost the whole day with a guard duty in between. Sometimes I wonder why do we even push ourselves so hard , why do we even put in so much effort.. I guess it's probably due to pride.

Thinking back more than 2 years ago , I feel so confused and puzzled to whether we would actually even be together now. I wasn't so close to her the first year but at the start of the 2nd year she started asking people and myself whether I was afraid of her <_<, and offered me chocolates and sweets which she didn't do the first year as we weren't even that close in the first place. Till one incident happened because I was too innocent that time, but now that I think about it, she got angry with me because of the numerous irritations through smses and such after that. i guess i should just forget about this.

2008-08-15T20:54:00.002+08:00

I have never denied the fact that all men are selfish by nature. Even I, sometimes, do get these selfish habit acting up, but what matters most is whether you actually even make the effort to fight against it. so what if you're tired..injured..depressed..in a hurry to go home..in a hurry to go back..in a hurry to meet your love..isn't everyone else the same?

All along I've wanted to let this little devil of mine take over me and just not bother about it at all. Even at times when I'm bothering about it, this little devil will keep telling in my mind: Why do I care so much when so many people else doesn't care? It's not like a lot of other people will know about it, it's not like I'm going to get a medal for it..but after thinking about it long and hard, I came to a conclusion that what matters most is probably the willingness to do it that comes really from withnin your heart.

2008-08-12T11:18:00.001+08:00

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Kelvin Ng
Date: 8/11/2008
Colorgenics Number: 13465027

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You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

For some time now you have been feeling rather insecure. You are looking for - and needing - an environment that can offer you roots, stability and a position that will relieve you of excess tension and stress.

Loneliness is soul destroying and at this time you feel lost and lonely, perhaps it is because you feel so frustrated that you are prepared to go out of your way to become emotionally involved with someone who could accept you for what you are. You are egocentric, antagonistic and quick to take offence, although it must be said, you can control your pent-up up emotion and thus avoid open conflict.

From every direction there appear to be unwarranted restrictions on your freedom of action and this is producing considerable stress. You're really looking for independence and freedom from any restriction and therefore avoiding any obligations or anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressures and you would like nothing better than to escape from them but you tend to lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this. Whichever way you turn you are being frustrated. You need to be free to do your 'thing' in your own way.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

2008-08-09T10:46:00.002+08:00

It's crazy to have to run 16km 2 times a week in the morning and then having to go back to work or do guard duty later in the night. Not that I ran 16km, but 10+km is more than enough to kill you when the furthest distance you ran was probably only 4.8km in school, which you get a half day off after that for rest!(unless you were in track&field or something before of course)

I believe the next 2 months will pass very fast even though the week is probably going to be much longer

2008-08-03T20:44:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I do feel that I'm much too mature for my own age. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It may be a bad thing to some other people, whereas it may be a good thing to some people. But what matters most is how I feel about it , right? Well, I do think that it has its own advantages and disadvantages. It helps me understand a lot of things in life and the way people think much more easily, yet sometimes I wish I could just see things on the superficial level, instead of going in deeper. But I have always wondered, how does one become more mature in the first place? Is it by exposing one to more experiences? Is it by reflection? Is it just in the genes? Is it.. is it..arrr it's giving me a headache.

2008-08-02T10:16:00.002+08:00

Now only do I realize I'm much fortunate than a whole lot of other people out there, but I'm also less fortunate than the other half lot of the people out there. Still, I guess I have to be contented with what I have unless I want to do things against my conscience.

Sometimes I also wonder whether being in Singapore is really great or not after all. At least I'm safe from natural disasters and people don't go around carrying guns on them for nothing, and the alleys at night aren't as dangerous as in other countries. But then again, there are a lot of things that could easily be done and legal in other countries which many Singaporeans are afraid to do so.

It's finally August already and the date to start preparation for the major event this year is coming. I wonder whether we'll be able to make it with just these standards.

2008-07-27T18:58:00.002+08:00

Once again it's Sunday where the dreaded booking in time is nearing. When packing my bag and getting ready, I always get paranoid and keep asking myself whether I have actually brought everything, when there are just the usual stuff that I bring in every week. Somehow I quite miss my field pack which is able to stuff many thing itself yet look so small, as I now have to book in in civilian which means I have to bring my boots along which is so troublesome as it's impossible to squeeze them into my civilian bag.

August is nearing and National Day is coming and it falls on a Saturday which means..?I might have a long weekend! Notice the 'might', for I may just be dreaming or even worse, I get to do guard duty on that day. After national day it's probably going to be non-stop action and if we can't finish packing those thingies on time chances are we will probably have to come back on Saturdays and Sundays to finish it, otherwise we're going to have a difficult time in Aus.

Life has been the usual as I'm kept busy at home the whole day. I need to have a mindset of my own and say 'NO', and also to get out more often, as it seems I've lost touch with the outside world for quite a period of time, and that a lot of things have changed these 7 months.

I want to do voluntary work that's catered towards the teenage age group, but I can't seem to find any. :(

2008-07-19T14:09:00.002+08:00

I took a step.
I failed.
I fell. But only by a step.
It wasn't so difficult after all, but the next step somehow seemed to be even harder.
Another year has passed, and I really don't want this to carry on anymore.
Let the light guide me..provided I can even find it in the first place.

2008-07-13T02:26:00.002+08:00

I can't comprehend the fact why people hate losing so much. I wonder whether it is inbuilt withnin us, or has it got to do with society's brainwashing? Many a times I wanted to accept the fact that I lost, and I did, but still there were a few times where I wallowed in despair and the devil gobbled me up. It makes me feel guilty, very guilty, although no lives and money are lost nor anyone is hurt, at least physically.

I continue, my search..my search..for what? What am I searching for in the first place? Why am I even searching at all? I stand on this brazen land, in front of a humongous mountain. Glancing up, the top can't even be seen. Yet the leaves rustle in the air, the mountain seems to glow, as if challenging me. Am I supposed, to climb to the top, or am I supposed, to find a way around it, or am I supposed, to try and level it?

It's over..it's over. Mountains can't talk, leaves can't whisper and the wind can't shout. Finally I realised, I'm all alone..alone, which was supposed to be right from the start, with a power that seem too great to behold for all mankind - the power to decide, the power to choose, the power to do the things you want to do in this world.

hehe crap post, something to fill the blank up

2008-07-06T19:51:00.000+08:00

Once again it's Sunday. SUNDAY. yes SUNDAY. You got that right. And the first week of July has already passed, in case you didn't know.

The Big Question

2008-07-05T01:11:00.002+08:00

Which university to go to? is the question that has been resounding in my mind throughout these whole few months. I had a difficult time before painstakingly narrowing down my choices to just Electrical Engineering. Why electrical engineering? Don't ask me that question, because if you ask me that I'm probably going to have second thoughts again. So now, my results are probably enough to get into electrical engineering from either university, but the question is..which one?

Now let us list out the advantages and disadvantages of each University:
NUS
1. Nearer. Time is a concern, especially when I can save up to 20-40minutes per day travelling through and fro as I live in the east side.
2. Cheaper. If it's nearer, of course the fare would be definitely be cheaper , right?
3. Ranking. Some of my friends say NUS ranking for engineering is higher than NTU, but I don't know how true is that.
4. Friends. Most of my friends who get along better with me are going to NUS.
5. Bus. May not be able to squeeze up the bus at Buona vista to NUS as it's not a train station.
6. The modules one have to take seems to be much more lesser than that of NTU's.
7. Girls- People say NUS has more attractive girls that NTU :o
8. Fun- According to a survey report published in the newspaper, 64% of NUS students have sex in their hostel at least once a week.

NTU
1. Further. Refer to above.
2. Less cheaper. Refer to above.
3. Ranking. Refer to above again!
4. More practical approach? To me , I don't think that matters at all because it may be hearsay, for you won't know unless you have attended both courses at both Universities.
5. More students, more profressors, better facilities. Make more friends? Then again, probably a large concentration of it(maybe near to 50%) would be international students.
6. First year students are guaranteed a place in their hostel. Considering that I come from a family with slight below average income, I think paying for my school fees would already be a problem, let alone paying the fees for a hostel. Then again...

I do believe there were much more that I had in mind that time when I was thinking about these, but somehow these are all that I can remember at the moment. So.. the answer? *Drumroll*

NTU it shall be. Why?Why?Why?You might ask..there's no specific reason actually. My gut told me to go there straight from the start, since that open house. I was always indecisive in the past and got influenced by others to change my opinions quickly when my gut told me otherwise. It was probably because I did not have faith and confidence enough to believe in it, so this time I'm going to believe in it and hope that it won't let me down.

Oh maybe you might be thinking I'm so crazy to give up those pretty girls and sex from NUS, but actually I do think they are both crap and I only put it there for fun, notice the dash instead of a full-stop? Yes..you might think that I'm probably gay..

but I don't care. =)

Disclaimer: The above points may not be totally true, believe them at your own risk. The author hopes that this post will not affect anybody's choice in choosing their preferred universities.

2008-07-01T22:40:00.002+08:00

So today was finally the actual day for the parade. Thank god the weather was pretty good when we went in, or I probably would have some difficulty. So I guess it's goodbye to my hot shower at home, the kfc meals that we had(to tell you the truth I'm actually quite sick of it now), and everything else but back to my bunk.. the bunk which I haven't went back for like almost 1 or 2 weeks.

Don't really feel like typing much today, although I really still have a lot to say.. see how completely I am from yesterday.

Rigger badge

2008-06-30T22:45:00.003+08:00

How stupid was I to not realize that one of the main reason why people keep staring and looking at me with those weird kind of eyes whenever I am in No.4 was probably partly due to rigger badge that I have above my left breast pocket. You see, this rigger badge is way too similar to the airborne badge - a badge which you can get after jumping out of a airplane and parachuting down. So, of course it is dangerous, and therefore I think almost all NSFs don't get to do that, which means those donning the airborne badge would probably be 3SG and above. But you see, I'm still a private! Of course they would probably be thinking how I even got this badge in the first place.

Still, although my badge didn't come easily in the first place, I wished that I could have an option not to put it on in. But what I can do because my commanders said that I should be pround to put on the badge if I am supposed to stay in that unit and do what a rigger should do!! What do I actually do then, you might ask..basically we just pack cargo parachutes and attach them to the load we have prepared. Sounds.. easy compared to having to wear full battle gear and doing a 24km route march right? Not really, it's just physically less tiring, but more mentally taxing, because any, and I mean any, small mistake that you make could result in a malfunction and leading the load to freefall and crash into the ground. Imagine the extent of damage that would make. What's more, we have to finish the load and packing the parachute in a certain time limit,which makes it even the more difficult for us not to commit any mistakes.

Today is finally the last day of rehearsal for the SAF day parade 2008. Tomorrow would be the actual thing, and I can't really say I'm very excited about it although all the trainers there keep saying we should be proud to be on the parade as not every NSF or even regulars get to do it in their whole SAF career, reason being it's only held a year and one contingent is just around one platoon size. Still, we've come a long way and I can see my skin turning red and the skin starting to peel off already(boo),but I've got to say goodbye to the warm shower and computer that I get to use during these one or two weeks after tomorrow. You see, we're allowed to stay out whenever we have parade rehearsals on the next day! :D Though we have to report at Jurong Camp which is freaking far from my house and takes at least an hour and a half to and fro, it's still pretty ok as the latest I have reached home was only 9.45pm. wow that's quite late to some of you, but it's already good enough for me.

Hehe my entries are getting longer and longer by the day, somehow I just have a lot to take off my mind sometimes, while at other times I completely cannot think of anything to write about. Actually I still have a lot to say, but it's getting late now and I have to go to sleep to get an ample SEVEN HOURS OF SLEEP for tomorrow.

2008-06-29T22:28:00.004+08:00

Every Saturday and Sunday seems to be pass so fast compared to the rest of the week, especially the Mondays and Tuesdays. It's now again, the end of the week, Sunday night, as reality suddenly gives me a tight slap. I seriously do not know what even happened to my Saturday, when it was much longer than usual as I only went to sleep in the wee hours. But well, as the saying goes - There are always 2 sides to a coin - for every Saturday and Sunday that has passed, it can only mean one thing: That the whole week has passed and I'm one step closer to resuming my civilian life.

Some asked me whether I regret not going to SISPEC. I could have passed my IPPT in BMT if I wasn't that lazy or if I didn't care so much about what others thought and trained by myself, but I always had the habit of not wanting to be carrying and having so much responsibility. But after coming to this unit, I realised that I still had to carry the similar amount of responsibility, and that this is an unavoidable thing in society even after I ORD. One minor mistake that my colleagues or I make can spell disaster, endanger the whole company and cost us thousands, if not millions of dollars. NS has indeed made me realise quite a number of things.

That aside, blog hopping has always been one of my way of passing time whenever I'm free. But nowadays people keep changing blog addresses like nobody's buisness that I have much trouble keeping track of their blogs. Then one day I suddenly realized that it doesn't matter even if I can't find their blogs anymore; I don't even keep in touch with most of them already and what happens to them from now on is no more any of my buisness. They marked a beautiful stop as friends and classmates in my life, but as we reach the fork in the road, goodbyes have to be said, tears have to be dropped and life has to go on as I continue on this long ardous journey I see ahead, not knowing what to expect, or who to expect,or rather who will be the ones beside and behind me all the way.

2008-06-28T04:28:00.002+08:00

So, I was on the train this morning and I had to change trains at City Hall interchange. To my surprise the alarms kept sounding off; 1st it was 'The train at Platform A terminates at Ang Mo Kio.' That wasn't surprising at all , was it? But the 2nd one came shortly after that: 'The train at Platform B terminates at Outram Park'. I was like.. ok? after which ANOTHER one sounded off 'the train at Platform # terminates at Aljunied'. Yeah so what about it? Nothing actually.

I can't help but feel people seem to look at me with those weird mixed feelings they have in their eyes whenever I don the No 4 uniform. Maybe it's because I stand out from the crowd with the uniform, maybe it's because they want to observe me and wait for me to commit a heinous crime, or maybe they're just programmed to do that since young in the first place? Come to think of it, I would probably do the same thing anyway.

2008-06-21T07:21:00.002+08:00

So it seems I still prefer blogspot over wordpress after all. Still can't get used to it, so I guess I will come back here instead.

It seems that more and more people are starting to use my nick, which makes it so difficult for me whenever I have to register for a new game or website. You see, I have been only using this 1 single nick since 13243243 ages ago, and if you ask me to use another nick instead I would probably forget it withnin a week...but what else can I do?

Life this week has been rather different, and time seemed to pass much more longer. This is because I had to attend parade rehearsals under the hot sun for the 1,3,5 this week and only reaching my bed by the late nights. Probably going to get sunburn..

2008-06-01T18:46:00.008+08:00

I've decided to move to Wordpress. Why? Because I'm growing to hate blogger more and more as the days goes by..although I have no idea why.

The new address will be tentatively

Themissingbracket.wordpress.com

2008-06-01T00:38:00.002+08:00

The day after, or rather tomorrow is the dateline for the joint acceptance program by the 3 Singapore Universities. I was still deciding whether to appeal for the other course instead or apply next year ago a few weeks ago, but I've decided to stick with EEE. I hate this wishy washy ways of mine and so being so decisive for the first time round I felt really different.

Time to touch on the other life of mine. I'm not really good at talking in metaphors but it's neccessary sometimes to avoid getting into trouble. Still, there's really nothing much to talk about anyway...

I just wanted to say that doing so much extra things should come right from the bottom of your heart, not because you want to claim an extra title or anything. Although I admit I don't really want to be that cap, but a bit of recognition would mean a lot to me. You can't blame the people standing on the tables since they don't follow us around everyday, therefore there're a lot of things left undiscovered.

2008-05-25T15:32:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wonder really whether everything is predestined or someone up there is out to make fun of me... or is this all just my own fault ?

2008-05-19T10:40:00.002+08:00

Last week was the start of the new course. It was ok at the start because I hadn't worn my helmet for a long time, but near the end of the week I could feel the weight of the helmet pining down onto me even after taking it off. Also, the sun nowadays is like wtf and freaking scorching, not like the sun a few months ago before I entered Tekong. And the rifle slings they loaned out were the super old type with many buckles and it just hurts whenever you back sling it. I just hope that I won't fall sick during this period of time.

Come to think of it, since I entered military life I seemed to have cut off most of my ties with the civilian world. Nothing enters into my mind at all except the 3 letters starting with 'O', and the friends I still keep touch in with I can count with just my 10 fingers. I probably wouldn't even have known that there was an earthquake if not for the news over the radio I accidentally heard.

I presume life will probably only get more difficult from now onwards....

2008-05-11T18:45:00.002+08:00

Looking at that entry I can't help but feel bad about myself. Didn't know that it was actually so serious. But I can't help it HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

I'm still torn between IEM and EEE. I have already narrowed down all my choices to these 2, and whatever else I can think of does not spark as much interest as these two. But still.. it's still a choice and being the undecisive type of person I really don't know what to do.

Next week is finally the start of the new course. I wonder how it'll be like and I certainly hope that it will be conducted in camp itself rather than having to take tonner to an open field. And after the course..maybe it'll be a much better life.. I hope.

heh..some people currently in Tekong thinks it sucks..but I didn't really felt that way.. I thought it would be much worse. Yes I admit it did suck big time especially when your body kept giving way while holding in push up positions after doing tons of it and crunches and switching here and there..but I always told myself that it could have been much worse. seems like a lot of companies are doing their field camp this week, wish my mates the best of luck. Come to think of it I can't really remember much about field camp except for the few significant little things that happened. heh

2008-05-08T18:34:00.004+08:00

Finally booking in tonight and left with only 5 days of leave for the whole year while others probably still have 8-11days. Aiming to leave house by 8.30 pm and reach there around 10.30(latest- 2hours should be more than enough right? including waiting for mrt and bus), so that I won't be the earliest.lol.

Although this week seemed to be so sian and most of the time I stayed at home since there was no one else to go out with, I'm sure I will probably miss this week of long leave very much. At least, it beats being in camp, except that it might be strenous on my eyesight since there's practically nothing for me to do at home except using the com, playing psp/ps2, watching tv or reading books..

So, I kind of miss my jc teachers and I initially planned to go back to school during this long leave, but I was lazy to move my butt out. Another reason was that if I had to go back I would have to go back alone.. which suck, so I decided not to in the end.

Next thing is regarding the EEE tea reception.. I'm still contemplating whether I should go a not. If I have to go, I would probably have to go alone...at 1st they said to give a reply latest by Tuesday, but still I received a call from them yesterday(which I didnt pick up) and an sms today... so.. haiz

Will book out tomorrow night again.. and then book in on Sunday night. How stupid is that??? I just hope I won't get blown away by the helicopter downwash during underslung.

Life is just so unfair. Some combat fit people got posted to places where they did not need to do route marches, SOC and stay out vocations. Not that I'm complaining, I don't mind staying in but I just hate the guard duties, since the unit is small. Especially if it falls on a Saturday. My urge to try to down pes keeps coming up but I always decided against it in the end. Hope that it won't be wrong to do so.

Underslung

2008-05-05T13:54:00.002+08:00

I hate underslung. You must thinking how can I possibly hate it when it hasn't even started? Well.. the sun is terribly weird and hotter than usual nowadays.. can't imagine how it will be like when the time really comes. Also, it concerns the use of helmets..!!!

Helmets strike fear in a part of me. I could remember the days in Tekong when a 'HELMETS OFF' from commanders usually brought about much joy and everybody scrambling to unbuckle and remove their helmets in 5 seconds or less..from that you can see how much people hate helmets. There was also a time when a PC punished us to wear helmets for the whole day because of a guy who didn't wear his helmet properly during route march.. and the subsequent day I immediately felt real dizzy and as though I was still wearing the helmet. Couldn't even think properly at all. so.. to think that I'm gonna have to wear the helmet for at least 8hours a day for 5 weeks under the hot sun...and carrying heavy cargo slings and nets at the same time.. I can't imagine how I'll actually feel.............. wish me luck.

BLOCK LEAVE

2008-05-04T07:11:00.002+08:00

I was elated and surprised that time when they told me we would have an upcoming week of block leave after our first course, and for us to rest well for our next course. But after 2 or 3 days I realised that it wasn't really that good at all..it's just another week of sianness. First of all you won't be able to find anyone to go out with you.. because everybody's either in camp or at school. Not even 1 hour of eating dinner or lunch, what's the whole point? At least.. at least I get to escape from military life for a while.

My computer's finally reverted back to normal(I hope). Spent the whole Saturday trying to fix it but to no avail. My brother told me that it was my graphics card that was spoilt but I didn't believe it because I had alreadye tested it somewhere else already. Lucky I hadn't bought a new graphic card or I would have wasted all my money.

2008-05-01T17:35:00.002+08:00

Been vomiting what I've been eating yesterday..not feeling too well and spending my whole labour day at home .. :(

Receieved letter from NTU already, so even if the one from NUS comes I still think I'll stick to NTU?

2008-04-27T14:52:00.002+08:00

Had guard duty on Saturday which meant I had to go back home on Friday, go back on Saturday morning, come back on Sunday morning and then go back again on Sunday night...what's the difference between that and being confined? Since you can't bring psp with mem sticks into the camp either..therefore time passes real damn slowly..

Plus we worked continously non stop for the last few days of that week and had only around 2 hours of sleep in between that 30+ odd hours..still we couldn't manage to produce the piece on time, which was well, quite expected to me.

It seems that some of the females have already gotten acceptance letters from the various universities.. I wonder when mine would come, or would it even come ?

2008-04-19T00:41:00.003+08:00

I always knew that this wasn't the job for me. I hate tying knots, especially having to tie them tight. I can't work well under pressure too, I can't this I can't that.... or maybe I can. It's not about me giving up..but I just don't want to pull the others down together with me.

It has been the worst week, as my station was the huge big monster parachute this time, which weighs over 100+kg, 100 feet long and when it fully deploys..it can cover.. i dont know? maybe 3/4 of a football field? But next week's gonna be tough.. not going to be able to sleep for 2 days I think.

Maybe i should have stayed in scouts..

2008-04-11T20:28:00.002+08:00

With them always reminding us not to blog about 'discrete information', who would even still dare to do so? The obvious best way of course is to not blog at all.

This week has been a much better week than last week, but also a much tougher week for me than last week. More sleep this week, but I embarked on something I hated most in my life: tying knots, and having them to be as tight as possible. First time in my life I had blisters on my hand, and it's not just 1, but 4 or 5 of them on both hands. Oh, and I bloody hate retainer bands too. Although I know that it's important for all those thingys to be tight and properly done, still, I don't think this is the job for me. I can't even clench my fists totally now without feeling pain on my palms. I guess I don't have a choice, do I? Since I'm already halfway through..might as well go all the way.

All of my jc mates and secondary sch mates supposedly have enlisted during this wednesday thursday or friday.. hope they manage to endure through the 9 weeks...

and I crave for durians.

2008-04-05T09:33:00.007+08:00

It's been a tiring and shag week so far, but I can definitely say that it's going to get even tougher as the higher ups have been quite lenient on us this week, but they get $##@$ up instead. It's still probably quite slack compared to the last few batches, but nevertheless it's definitely as tough as field camp or even worse except in different areas. That I can assure you. I was already on the verge of breaking down, while some others already have broken down. Note that they broke down not because they were scolded and whacked by the instructors, but rather, they felt guilty because the instructors were too nice, or that they felt that they shouldn't have made those mistakes they made.

To have a better view of what we went through this week, you should read this guy's (my unit mate) blog: cuckooninthecocoon.blogspot.com dated april 5, since I'm too lazy to type and filter out things I'm supposed or shouldn't type.

April 9 ,10,11 are coming, and the rest of my friends and classmates will probably be enlisted by then. Wish them all the best in adjusting and coping with military life.

2008-03-30T14:35:00.003+08:00

Well I decided to blog again to update people about my life after all this time(not like a lot of people is going to come here anyway..). Part of the reason why I had so little entries regarding my life was because I didn't feel a need to do so plus sometimes I do really hate to tell others about my life..then why do I even blog then you might ask.

The answer is.. I don't know.Probably for fun, for kicks, for flies and to kill boredom. So, how has life been so far? AWESOME. Not.

Awesome is just a word we use in BMT to answer most of the questions that PTI and other commanders might ask, just like how OUTSTANDING and FABULOUS are other key words that other companies might use. But yeah, BMT was pretty AWESOME, and I can't believe that 13 weeks just passed like that. To think I thought of giving up a lot...not like you can give up that easily in the first place.

So, what happened to me after that? After POP and getting our posting orders, almost everybody was scattered all over Singapore. Few went back to school to repeat another year, a handful went to OCS two handfuls+2legs went to SISPEC and the rest probably all got posted to other units.

I believe anyone reading up till now would probably be curious to find out where I got posted to, right? Even if I told anybody I doubt any of you would know what the people in that vocation actually do.

My vocation is A.CARGO RIGGER. Bascially we just 'rig' loads up for aeroplanes to transfer from point A to point B. I wouldn't really delve into specific details since my course hasn't really started yet and we have been warned not to blog about specific details too.. so yeah.

Each year, there is only 1 batch of intake for this vocation and only less than 20 person each time gets posted there. Can't really say whether I'm lucky or unlucky.. I don't know. There are both disadvantages and advantages of this unit compared to others, so I guess it depends on how you look at it.

But I was surfing through the net and chanced upon this blog by a senior in the same vocation, and from reading his entries it seems like it's not going to be easy staying in this unit and getting what's supposed to be done, done. I guess I'll just have to be my best, and be sure always like what they always say.

Just 623 days left..as what the picture below my tagboard says. That's equivalent to 1 year and 8.5 months, maybe? Sounds like eternity.. but each difficult day I pass means that I'm closer to the end..I hope.

2008-03-18T22:38:00.001+08:00

yo wassup hello hi bye

2008-02-18T11:59:00.000+08:00

worst fever I've ever had- took 4 days to subside

2008-02-10T17:33:00.000+08:00

Kind of find it difficult to believe that Chinese New Year has passed so quickly, it was as though the whole 4days was only 24hours. Then again, it's already been 2months so keep your spirits up and these 2 years will be over very quickly! Hope that everyone else is doing fine, maybe I'll get to see all of them again on the 29th. Rumor has it that the 'A' Level results would be released on that date.. can't say I'm really looking forward to my results, but I'm definitely looking forward to going back to school as one whole class again.

2008-01-12T22:59:00.001+08:00

Bathing with hot
Eating fast food
Sleeping
Looking at girls
Having a class reunion
Having a old friends reunion
Talking on the phone
Watching anime
Playing computer games
Reading newspapers
blah blah blah

all these are hard and difficult to come by.Better treasure them

2007-12-31T12:10:00.000+08:00

Abadoned.. again???

2007-12-12T14:19:00.000+08:00

There has always been these common fallacies: Skinny people should eat more, for example. Skinny people should NOT eat more, because eating more will NOT make them gain weight... you have to do it through other means. On the other hand, people with a size larger than average shouldn't have to eat less either. Gaining weight or losing weight should be an enjoyable process and not a torture.

Another thing is people often say 'Don't waste food.. african people have nothing to eat.' Eating should be an enjoyable process! Let's see, if you can't eat anymore but you force yourself to eat so as to 'not waste food', you might end up having a tummyache or vomit all that you have eaten out! Wouldn't that even be a bigger waste of food?

2007-12-10T17:20:00.000+08:00

qwertyuiop[]\
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zxcvbnm,./
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2007-12-06T12:23:00.001+08:00

2007-11-29T20:01:00.000+08:00

Awaiting death and torture! or is that a beam of light I see over there?

2007-11-21T08:21:00.000+08:00

Was so bored so I decided to watch some anime- started watching Naruto from the start all over again(although I know the anime really sucks compared to some others). Till I saw the part where Gaara appeared did a lot of thoughts ran through my mind.

Some background info(those who have watched it would probably have known): Gaara grew up in a very very lonely way, and it seemed to have an adverse effect on him when he grew up. He grew up not knowing what he existed for, so in the end he decided he lived only for himself and that he was supposed to kill everyone else stronger than him to prove his existence.

This made me think: what is my actual existence in this world for then? what is yours, his or hers? Everytime I spend too much time playing games instead of studying, my mother would always nag and say: what do you actually gain from playing all these games? I would then stop playing for a while and think to myself: yeah, that's true. I don't even know what I actually gain from doing all these. On the other hand, another voice in my head would ask: then what do you actually gain from studying so much? I would probably be able to get a good job, a good salary, be rich....but do I really yearn for all those? I guess not.

There has been almost nothing else that manages to capture my interest and ignite a passion withnin me except for thinking about all those retarded shit-like the paragraph above. I guess that's what I'm really supposed to do as according to the description on my life number - to discover the mysteries of life. Maybe I'm taking too much for granted..but if I wasn't so worried about having to support my parents when they age a simple life would do good enough for me.

2007-11-17T19:13:00.000+08:00

A hand it was like
A palm it wasn't
Five fingers were all there were
Making clenching a fist near to impossible

Anger was not an option
Sadness was not a choice
Only smiles were allowed
So oh how could I even bear to clench my fists?

I bet you knew about it all along
No matter how hard I tried to deny
There was always, someone else
that affirmed them even more

I ran
I hid
I ducked
Only to find out eventually there wasn't anything for me to escape from in the first place.

2007-11-15T19:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel that sleeping is really a waste of time. Probably because I find it difficult to sleep most of the time, which might be attributed to the fact that I am used to counting sheeps before I go to sleep. When I was very young, there was a time when I couldn't get to sleep. Then I remembered that some people mentioned that counting sheeps would help you go to sleep.. so I did. And I did subsequently continue counting them too.. for near to a month.. till I got used to it. sigh.

Each time I lie on the bed, a lot of thoughts just come to me naturally. Often, I always think of something which I want to blog or write about, but once I come back to the computer I seem to have forgotten most of it. I guess it doesn't really matter anyway.

How time flies. I could still clearly remember a lot of unforgettable times I had during primary school and secondary school. Up till now, my vision of my future path is still blurred. What do I really want?? What do I really want to achieve???

and I think I have a lot of different personalities. I probably come across as a different people to many different groups of people.. now, my exclassmates, online friends, etc.. just like you probably won't believe it is the same person writing these entries. bb.

2007-11-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

each time after every paper, I always feel as though the past 2 years were a waste of time. ok it was fun meeting new people but I mean academically wise, i just felt that the whole thing was pretty pointless. 2 years of preparation just to go for an exam that takes less than 10 hours for the total 3 papers? Plus, the questions that come out are mostly so weird that you would probably have never seen them before. Maybe if you're lucky, you would have done similar ones before, but the chances of that occuring is very rare.

well. sometimes living in Singapore can be counted as a blessing or a unfortunate thing. for one, we're safe from natural disasters, and being a small country we don't have to take 2hour long bus or train rides to get from one place to another(unless you want to go from pasir ris to chinese garden which may take some time), but in other countries they usually have to move from towns to cities and blah blah you get the idea. Also, fights,brawls happen more often in other countries(not that it doesnt happen here, but the chance of it occuring is much lesser), so you won't always have to worry when going home in the middle of the night.

what about the disadvantages then??ha..everybody has to go through this education system since young and thus society has been conditioned to think that the higher amount of education you get, the more value you are worth. maybe that is true, but most of the time what people work as has completely nothing to do with what they learnt in school. you spend so much money and effort, just to get a certificate that can prove your worth. but well, i guess that's just how the way it is and you should just try to live with it.

2007-11-12T21:44:00.000+08:00

Noob. as long as you are reading this, this is what you are

2007-11-09T10:00:00.000+08:00

Some drama serials are funny and what the adults say are funny too; they often say things like "oh my child's too young and he lacks experience to decide what is best for himself, so I decide for him".. but but then if you decide for him when he grows up, he would still have a lack of experience, isn't it? Makes no difference whether he's still young or not anymore. old =/= experienced but young also =/= ???

2007-11-06T22:26:00.000+08:00

Everything in this world has an end to it; you don't actually have to do anything in this world(maybe except feed your parents), you only have to do what you want to do in this world. So stop self restraining yourself and go all the way out to achieve your goals and dreams.

yeah , yeah, I know what you must thinking: y the f is this guy not saying a shit about his exams? because.. there's nothing to talk about them. they're over, o-v-e-r!!! so what if you know you got that part wrong, so what if you know you got that part correct, it doesn't matter at all since your grades will still probably remain the same. so please get a hold on yourself people and bloody hell move on in life.

there is nothing more sucky than being in a place with more than 400 mouths talking at the same time. oh i can imagine how the people on the stage feel

2007-11-03T20:40:00.000+08:00

kelly's new song MV:
http://www.mtvchinese.com/cgi-bin/players/playvid2.cgi?plocalwuri=video/kelly_shakalaka.asx

the last part is cool

2007-11-03T15:48:00.001+08:00

http://www.psitek.net/index2.html#new